Finding My Voice in Metal

Does anyone else ask the question “who am I?” as much as an artist does?  You kind of have to do it in the process of every work of art you create.

Does this represent me?

Am I being derivative?

Do I want anyone else to look at this?

What’s my message?

What do I stand for?

WHO AM I?!?!?!

Well, I’m this girl (pictured right) in my infamous #bathroomselfieatapunkshow.  Always a little bit messed, a little bit disorganized, and a lot a bit rebel without a cause.  Well, rebel with a lot of causes.  Rebel with a new cause each day.

My art has always been a little disjointed, just like me.  I am all over the place, the Madonna (pop star version) of paint and metal… not as good, but you know, master of re-invention.  Most things I do are totally different from most other things I’ve done.  I suppose that’s why I’ve hopped from painting to beading to clay to metal to pencil to whatever might be next.  My style varies from piece to piece, and no one ever seems to be quite sure where I’m coming from without a hand drawn road map.

My paintings are often just shapes, but they are shapes with a cause, rebellious little curves and angles that have a point.  That point is usually rooted in my convoluted, Philosophically educated, but artistically minded world view.  It’s not a surprise to me that few people know where I’m coming from.  But I’m writing this today for two reasons.  One, in the last couple of days, I found my voice in metal.  I made a design that felt like a sigh of relief.  It felt like finding who I am (pictured left).  It might look like rocks and pointy shit to you, and the one below that came next might look like some rocks and a skull… but there is intention in it.  There are no perfect lines.  There are no perfect shapes.  There are no perfect balls.  They are purposely asymmetrical and uneven, with mismatched stones and a rebel’s demeanor.  They don’t color in the lines.  They are me.

The second reason that I am writing this, is that a fellow maker on Instagram inspired me to once again, for the millionth time, remember who I am, with my “lived in face” and my love for things that are a bit “off” (Thanks Amanda of Artemis Adorned).  It is her words that describe perfectly why I finally see myself in the new pieces I’ve been making recently.  I absolutely abhor perfection.  It’s annoying, and patronizing, and impossible to attain.  I love flaws.  Everything that’s “flawed” about me, well, those are the things that are the most ME.  My tulip shaped nose, my cumbersome breasts, my messed hair complete with cowlick, my strange wit, my aggressive honesty, my fierce and unmovable integrity, my hyper-empathy, my crooked wtf face (pictured left), big ass, torch scarred arm, that new wrinkle on the right side of my neck, my 4 grey hairs, whatever it is… I am at home in my imperfection, and it is in imperfect metal, where I found my voice once again.

Here’s a little video from a previous art show that I was in where I talk more about my obsession with flaws… one of mine being that I am not a strong public speaker.  But it’s cool, you’ll catch my drift by the end.

Here’s some other shit I made below.  Thanks for stopping by.  Check out my strange metal things at JenvyFoxRocks.com or at the shop link on my home page.